'neath the starry sky....

was my bday on thursday. lovely birthday this year. wasn't too happy till a week back coz the idea of turning 18 didn't appeal much to me. also was slightly insecure about my friends. glad my insecurities were put to rest on my birthday. love those guys so much. really made my birthday special.

went to iit that evening. it was terrific, not so much because of the function(which was pretty good too) but because of the company and the general ambience of the place. absolutely adore the iit campus. and their open air audi is so amazing. sitting there, underneath the starlit sky.....brilliant.

went to rendevous on sunday also. that was the 'big day', the day of the rock show. the whole of the student population of delhi pleads to get passes to the 'rock show of the iit fest' . we were part of the few 'lucky' ones who managed to get the coveted passes(thanks to some great friends of mine who go to iit...lol). had a pretty cool time. coudn't go to the rdx(the famous poolside party) coz by the time we got slightly tired of the rock show, entry into the rdx had closed. didn't bug us too much, coz by then we were loving the whole thing is totality, the music, the cool breeze, the stars shining above, the fireworks(those happened in the end).....it was pretty cool. also, how could i forget, some REALLY cute guys! lol.

what a killer combination naa? good looking and iitian.

came back to earth when i reached home at 11. had 2 bloody tests the next day. was gonna get completely screwed but wasn't too worried coz chandni n hansika were gonna get fucked with me(they were stayin over and they hadnt studied anything either).

went to college today, got majorly fucked in poe but did surprisingly well in mme. quite proud of myself.

at home now, blogging coz i have nothing better to do. should stop now coz i've run out of things to say and am gonna start writing crap any moment now. alrite, it has already begun.

until next time, adios.

memories

am feeling slightly blue this morning. missing a friend of mine who's gone away to, well, a 'place of no return'. hehehe. by that i mean the big U.S. of A. most people are lying when they say that they'll come back from the US. because most people can't come back from 'the land of opportunity'. especially back to a country like india, where u have to fight for every bit of ur share of ur rights.

this friend was a really good friend of mine. don't know if i can call him one of my closest friends so let's leave it at that, a really good friend. i used to get along so brilliantly with him. he was the person with whom i used to talk about the silliest things in the world. miss all the crazy conversations we used to have. maybe its just me but i got the feeling that he sort of drifted away a little bit right before he left. don't know whether it was concious or..i don't know....it doesn't even matter.

i remember feeling quite disoriented for a period of time right before college. everything was different. things weren't in my control anymore. life was, in a sense, 'spiralling out of control'. that sounds terribly melodramatic, but that was the way i felt then.

i don't feel the same any longer. but things are different. i'm no longer in that coccoon of security i was in a couple of months back. back then, i had a terrific percentage, had got admission in one of the best colleges in the country, was going out with my friends every day. now, my percentage is pretty much immaterial, college is screwing me bad(partially my fault coz i'm not studying), and my friends arent with me anymore(i'm talking strictly in the phyiscal sense, that they arent around everyday).

yeah i know i know this is a phase. i'm gonna make friends in collge, i'll get used to studying blah blah blah. but it won't be the same. its like stepping into someone else's life, and starting again from scratch. and that is the part which is the most discomfitting. the fact that my life till two months back will have no connection whatsoever with my new life. and also terribly sad.

High on Floyd

was listening to floyd sometime ago. realized their lyrics r SO much better than all the usual philosophical crap u hear everywhere. i mean, they make way more sense that all the philosophical crap that' thrown around. they are so completely uncomplicated yet so open to individual interpretation that its amazing. everybody has his own explaination of a floyd song.

was listening to a song called 'time' (relatively unknown song from their album - dark side of the moon) and man, the lyrics are f***ing brilliant.

so u run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
rcing around to come up behind u again.
the sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

this is a bit of it, the bit which i like the best. i love what the guy(roger waters has written this one i think) is saying here. he makes his point so completely yet so subtly. but maybe i like it because these 4 lines r the story of my life. that is what is happening to me. every day i wake up, and do nothing worthwhile. every day i tell myself i should do something so that don't regret wasting away my life later on, but i'm just too f***ing lazy to do anything about it. every day its the same thing. i get up, go to college, come back and go to sleep. i'm fucking wasting away my life.

enough of the digression. coming back to floyd, one of my favourite pink floyd songs
is 'brain damage'. i don't know why i like it so much. again, i think its the lyrics which make me like the song so much.

the bit where it goes like,

You lock the door
u throw away the key
there's someone in my head but its not me

i mean, wow! bloody brilliant man. i love the concept of this song. how its about getting completely fucked because everything around u is fucked up too.

and then there is one of their most famous songs 'wish u were here'. its actually written about one band member who had to quit coz of his excessive drug addiction (in fact the whole album is pretty much about him). but personally (and i'm being slightly pompous here in assuming that my personal opinion counts but...hey, its my blog) i really like the underlying sarcasm in the song. of course, that's what i feel. it is quite probable that roger waters isn't being sarcastic at all. but i like to believe that he is.

And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

if ur still reading this (quite possibly u got bored midway) then u might have got the impression that pink floyd is all about the lyrics. but that is absolutely not true. it is only one facet of their songs. but one which makes their songs so heady(they actually give me a high...lol).

laziness

i know i know i've been terribly lazy. haven't been blogging at all. the thing is, nothin of much importance(or interest) has been happening, unless u count the college elections. which was sad anyway coz nsui won. yeah i know its a bad idea to air my political leanings on a public forum but i really don't care too much. anyway, the thing is i'm rambling now, but that's because i don't have anything interesting to talk about.

i can talk about my sad sad love life but...right now...i'm not really in the mood. or i could talk about how today is the anniversary of one of the cruelest acts of hatred in recent times but...again...that is not really a very nice thing to talk about. the shadow of 9/11 is on us year round anyway without me adding to the general noise.

hmm, seeing that i have nothing worthwhile to say today i better cut the crap and go away.

so until next time people.

"happy days"

well life is going to get absolutely terrific starting from today.....2 reasons:-

1) the durga puja programmes start from today
2) my bday is 19 days away

feeling a lot happier than i've felt in a long time. that may also b because college has gotten to b quite a lot of fun these days. thank god it has.

don't know why, but the durga puja is our(read bengalis) biggest event of the year. we look forward to it every year with bated breath and as soon as it gets over we start planning for next year. its almost as if everything we do revolves around one single occasion. strange, if u think about it.......

my love life (finally) seems to b looking up. let me not say too much right now (don't want to jinx it) but at least there is hope....lol.

updats will b posted as and when required.