Abstract

am writing this post in a hurry because i don't have much time right now. but i really wanted to post this one today.

i am feeling completely confused. and not too happy. i like to keep things as uncomplicated as possible. but today some seemingly simple things managed to get terrifically complicated. and it does not please me.

also i like to keep some things unspoken. in the abstract. makes life a whole lot easier. but today a bunch of stuff was put on the table, stuff which i would have liked to not think about. or put into words.

and once things are said, they can't be unsaid again. they are out there. they can never be taken back and one can never pretend that they weren't said ever. once they have been brought into conscious thought, they can never be pushed back into the subconcious. and there are some things that i would have preferred to have left in the confines of my subconscious, at least for the time being. but i have been forced to prematurely recognise those things, and accept them as a part of my conscious, thinking mind.

now things have changed; maybe minutely, but the point is that they have. and i can never go back to being where i was before the whole thing happened. and that does not make me feel too good.

Collected Short Stories by MeMyself_n_I : Part III

Story 4 : the one where i'm 'his love'

aah i love this one. as you shall soon see why.

i had gone to a parikrama gig at lsr a couple of weeks ago(for the record, i 've given up trying to do this chronologically). technically, it was a silk route plus parikrama gig, but silk route doesn't count(and they proved my point by boring people into their graves....except for a bunch of girls next to us who were getting veritably orgasmic...i swear). anyway, let's not digress.

parikrama's guitarist, saurabh chaudhry, is supposed to be quite the hottie, and a favorite with girls in the audience. and yeah, he is quite cute, and all the girls went completely crazy screaming for him when he came on stage. including *ahem* me. but then...i saw...a vision....in torn jeans and a PETA(why) t-shirt. he was hotness at its best. it was nitin, parikrama's lead singer.

i pointed him out to my friends, but they were too busy trying to attract saurabh's attention. then, nitin opened his mouth. and all the girls went, whoaaaaaa.
his voice is like a caress, honestly. i know you're laughing, but i swear!

then nitin started singing. with his voice and saurav's guitaring, the evening was getting very very heady. they did a few songs, amidst screeches of 'saurav saurav' and 'nitin nitin'. then there was a little pause between songs. i was screaming nitin's name along with everyone else but somehow, right then nobody else screamed. so suddenly, it's just my voice! a loud 'NITIIIIIN' rang out, in my voice.

i was about to do my imitation of "hey which idiot did that?" when i heard nitin's voice say, "yes love?". damn, i almost passed out from shock and ecstasy.

well even if it had been just that, i would still be floating around on air. but that night, god had more in store for me. hah!

welll my friends and i were in full form and we were really letting our vocal chords run amok while nitin did a couple more songs. then, before doing the next song, he pointed at us and said, "the next song goes out to those lovely ladies". and he sang 'sweet child o' mine' for us!

evidently, i had a brilliant evening and went home with a huge grin on my face. and narrated my exploits to everyone who was either patient enough or bored enough for the next one week.

footnote : i looked up nitin's email id on parikrama's website and sent him an email. and was very very pleasantly surprised to receive a reply. am contemplating sending another mail. and in case you're wondering, yes i AM slightly weird.

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i'm kinda tired of doing the stories, so i'm giving the whole thing a break for a bit. so it's back to my random scrawls for a while.
also, something i've been meaning to mention for a long time. i have deleted all of BK's messages. well, except for one, which i couldn't bring myself to delete, because it is so extremely sweet.(if u don't follow my blog this wouldn't have made much sense to you. go to 'message fetish' for enlightenment)

also, a BIG thanks to all the readers. i had a lovely time reading all the comments. Collected Short Stories will be back!

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NEW BULLETIN : was checking my mail right now and i have a mail from saurabh also!!! i had written in my mail to nitin that i really liked saurabh's satriani solo. and he has actually sent me a thank u mail!! damn thse guys are polite. i'm putting up the letters also now.

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this one's from nitin.

Hey Tania, dont know when you wrote this mail but i just got back in from out of town like right noe and i have at least a couple of hours before rushing off to the studio for a recording.. well thanx for such a sweet mail,,,,,,,,,,,and yes i remember someone screamin out my name to which i replied "yes love".............
You have a lot of nice things to say about us,, you're very kind and your compliments are really appreciated..
take care and may god bless us all
love
N.

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this one's from saurabh.

Hi Tania,

thanx a lot for complimenting 'summer song'. i wish we guys cud hav played the entire solo, but there a technical snag... :(
better luck next time...
regards,
Saurabh.

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Collected Short Stories by MeMyself_n_I : Part II

Story 2 : the one with my 'twin soul'

this one is slightly weird, and u might not even find it funny, because it is somewhat of an inside joke between me and my friends. but here goes nothing. also it's not a story in the true sense of the word so....

one day, about a month after college had started, i got up on the bus and saw an exact replica of myself sitting on the seat in front of me. the same wavy, slightly messy hair, the same black t-shirt, same black belt, the same loose blue jeans and pretty much the same height. i was like, "jesus christ, she looks EXACTLY like me!!"

i was thinking to myself, "man how can somebody look so similar?". right then she turned around and i saw that it wasn't a 'she' at all; it was a guy!!!

the whole thing made me awfully sad, and i never got to hear the end of it from my friends. still constantly hear extremely lame jokes about my 'twin soul'.

for the record, now i know the guy personally, which makes the whole thing damn funny somehow.

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story 3: the one where i screw up!!

i had planned to not do this(interrupt my chronological collection of short stories, that is) but as if plans ever work out!

before going ahead i would like to formally anounce that i am a DUMBASS. okay, i can proceed now.

yesterday, while coming back from college, these 2 extremely cute guys got on my bus. i was surreptitiously checking then out, and thinking to myself, "why don't i ever get to meet guys like these?'. their brilliant english and their highly intellectual, and at the same time extremely witty conversation only served to add to their attractiveness-quotient. they were standing, and when the seat next to mine was vacated, one of them sat there.

that cheered me up enormously, and i couldn't pay too much of attention to the book i was reading(catcher in the rye, for the record). after a while i gave up trying to read and closed it(that shows my level of distraction, coz this book is one my favorites, and i can read it a million times).

okay, now comes the best bit.

Cute Guy - hey, i had made a bet with myself. are u doing history?
Me - no, i'm doing eco.
CG - oh ok.
Me - why did u think that? do u know somebody who looks like me who's doing history?
CG - no i thought english honours would be too obvious, that's why i said history. (!!! now that's a pickup line if i've ever heard one!!!)
Me - oh ok. well it's one of my favorite books.

and then i just stopped talking! i stopped talking!! a few minutes later my stop came and i climbed down and the guy went out of my life forever. :-(

stories are not really supposed to have an analysis in the end, but hey, this is my blog so i can do whatever i want! my point is, till now i had been cribbing about how circumstances are always against me and how things are "spiralling out of my control" and basically making a lot of melodramatic statements. and now, when circumstances were perfect, and things were completely in my control, i manage to completely screw things up. at the risk of sounding terribly terribly melodramatic(yet again), fate finally paves a way for me and i turn around and walk the other way!

footnote : this is highly embarrasing but i'll still say it(as a lesson to me and also for another reason, which u shall soon see). today i actually caught the same bus(the 4 o'clock one) in the hopes of meeting the guy again! talk about wishful thinking.

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okay this is a terribly lame thing to do but my friends have talked me into it.
if the aforementioned guy, by any chance, comes accross this blog, then, "hi, i'd like to tell u that i'm not an arrogant bitch. and that it would be nice if u were still interested in continuing that conversation....."

phew, that's done! never done a dumber thing than that.

(also now u know the 2nd reason behind the footnote)

Collected Short Stories By MeMyself_n_I : Part I

ok the title is a somewhat of a misnomer. they aren't really 'story' stories. they're just incidents which struck me as extremely funny or are somehow significant to me(however insignificant they may seem to u). for want of a better way, i'll go chronologically.

Story 1 : the one with the same phones

alrite this one kinda makes me feel bad but nonetheless its quite funny, albeit in a slightly sadistic way. heh heh.

i had gone to my father's friend's place for dinner once. they're a lovely family. they have 2 kids, one daughter and one son(of my age incidentally). after dinner was over, the kids n the dads sat down to watch 'munnabhai lageraho' while the moms chatted. since i had already seen the movie(and did not like it enough to sit through it a second time) i decided to call a friend. now, as every teenager knows, calling from ur cellphone is not the smartest thing to do(given that prepaid connections have an awfully irritating feature called low balance). so i took my mom's phone and made the call from that(somehow she's cool about that...one of the few things that i do she's cool with...lol).

spoke to my friend for about 50 minutes, give or take a few, and then, feeling chirpier, went inside to sit with everyone(and maybe flirt with the guy a little...lol). when we were leaving, i handed my mom's phone to her. she was like, "that's not my phone. i have it with me". i was like, "holy shit!! who's phone did i just use???"

then the son comes, and says, "i think that's my phone" and i'm thinking, "oh noooo.....". aloud i said, "uhh i think i made a call from your phone." and he very sweetly said, "that's okay", not knowing that i had spent the better part of an hour frittering away his balance(i think his was postpaid though, which somehow makes the whole thing worse).

i went home feeling like a mean bitch. and was made to feel worse by a friend who said i should have told him about it, and offered to treat him or something in return. he must have got a HUGE shock at the end of the month when the bills came. shit!


P.S.- stay tuned for Collected Short Stories By MeMyself_n_I : Part II